Below are two stories about Naveen’s six hour long flight from New York to Seattle.
Story 1:
Naveen shifted in his aisle seat. He wondered why airplanes had such cramped seats. His legs were too long for the narrow space. He felt stiff.
He glanced to his left. An enormous bulk of a middle-aged lady slumped in the next seat. Flesh dangled along her wide arms. Her body bulged outward like an inflated balloon. Naveen found himself being pushed towards the edge of his seat.
“Great, just fucking great.” Naveen muttered under his breath. How did these people get so huge? Were they just too lazy to exercise and too dumb to pay attention to their diet?
Naveen rang the bell for the air-hostess. The fat lady snored loudly in her sleep. He shook his head. Five minutes passed and still no sign of the air-hostess. He pushed the bell again. He craned his neck and saw the air-hostess approaching in her blue uniform with the tight skirt. She didn’t have the legs to pull off that skirt.
“Yes, sir?” She smiled at him. It was a fake smile.
“Can I get an orange juice?” Naveen demanded.
“Sure.” She nodded. “I’ll be back.”
Five minutes later, she still hadn’t returned. Naveen gritted his teeth.
Finally, she re-appeared. “Here’s your orange juice, sir.”
“What took you so long?” Naveen grabbed the glass. “The service on this flight is slow.”
“I’m very sorry, sir. We have a full flight. I had lots of passenger requests.” She smiled.
Naveen waved her off. He checked his watch. Still four hours to go. How was he going to get through this agonizing flight?
An hour before landing, Naveen twisted about, cranky as ever. The captain warned them of turbulence ahead. Naveen gripped the side of his seat. The plane swayed as it passed through the air pocket. He felt his body bumped off the seat for a moment.
What a disaster this flight had been. They didn’t even get the aircraft to fly smoothly. Maybe this was a sign of things to come. Maybe his new job would be full of turbulence and turmoil. Maybe his new colleagues would be dumb or non-responsive like the air-hostess. Maybe the whole thing was a mistake.
Story 2:
Naveen shifted in his aisle seat. His stretched his legs out as far as he could and made himself comfortable. He felt lucky to have gotten the aisle seat.
He glanced to his left. The lady next to him suffered from obesity. It had become an epidemic in America. He knew she was fighting a tough battle. He silently wished her luck.
He rang the bell for the air-hostess. The lady next to him snored loudly in her sleep. Naveen smiled. At least she managed to sleep so peacefully. Good for her.
Five minutes later, the air-hostess appeared in her blue uniform. She managed to look dignified in her skirt.
“Yes, sir?” She smiled at him. Naveen marveled at her ability to always be so cheerful.
“Can I get an orange juice, please?” He asked.
“Sure.” She nodded. “I’ll be back.”
She re-appeared, a little over five minutes later. “Here’s your orange juice, sir.”
Naveen gave her a big smile. “Thank you.” She was doing a good job, despite having to rush back and forth to respond to the demands of a full flight of passengers.
He checked his watch. Four hours to go. That would be enough time to catch up on a couple of movies he had missed. He relaxed and leaned back.
An hour before landing, the captain warned them of turbulence ahead. Naveen grinned in anticipation. The plane swayed as it passed through the air pocket. He felt his body bumped off the seat for a moment. This was like a bonus roller-coaster ride, no extra charge.
What a fun flight it had been. Maybe this was a sign of things to come. Maybe his new job would be challenging and exciting. Maybe his new colleagues would be friendly like the air-hostess and fun to work with. Maybe he was about to start an amazing phase of life.
I’m sure you have observed that exactly the same events happen in both the stories. Yet, the two stories sound so different.
It’s not the situation that matters; it’s our reaction to it. Our perception creates our reality. To alter this reality, we must simply change our perception.
In the first story, the annoyance, anger and apprehension that Naveen felt were real. In the second story, the empathy, wonder and excitement that Naveen felt were just as real. Even though the circumstances were the same, they could be experienced in different ways. All Naveen did was change the story he told himself, and he experienced an alternate reality.
In our daily lives, we constantly react to events. Whether we are aware of this or not, we tell ourselves stories about the situation around us.
Consider the following examples of stories we tell ourselves.
We miss the train to work. We tell ourselves “Damn it. Why can’t the train be delayed the one time I want it to be? Otherwise, it’s delayed so often. Now, I’ll be late for the meeting. Waiting at this platform is such a waste of time.”
The boss at work always gives us the difficult projects. We tell ourselves “My boss deliberately gives me all the hard assignments. He doesn’t even come around to see how I’m doing, like he does with the others. He doesn’t give a damn about me. He just uses me for all the dirty work.”
Our good friend doesn’t respond to our phone call. We tell ourselves “He is always too busy to pick up my calls. Just because he earns more money, he thinks that he is better than me. What an arrogant prick.”
Now, let’s change these stories we tell ourselves, keeping the situations the same.
We miss the train to work. We tell ourselves “Now that the crowd has gone in this train, the next one might be half vacant. I’ll probably get a place to sit. I have ten extra minutes to read my email and plan what I’m going to talk about in the meeting.”
The boss at work always gives us the difficult projects. We tell ourselves “The most challenging work normally goes to the most competent person. My boss thinks I’m capable of handling the tough projects. In fact, he trusts me so much that he doesn’t need to check up on me like he does with the others. I’m lucky to have earned his respect and trust.”
Our good friend doesn’t respond to our phone call. We tell ourselves “He has been working very hard. He will surely get promoted next month. I’ll be so happy for him. Then, our group of friends can get together and celebrate. It will be so much fun. I wish him good luck.”
If you find yourself reacting negatively to any situation, remember that the reality you are experiencing is only one of the possible realities. To change your experience, change the story you tell yourself.
Story 1:
Naveen shifted in his aisle seat. He wondered why airplanes had such cramped seats. His legs were too long for the narrow space. He felt stiff.
He glanced to his left. An enormous bulk of a middle-aged lady slumped in the next seat. Flesh dangled along her wide arms. Her body bulged outward like an inflated balloon. Naveen found himself being pushed towards the edge of his seat.
“Great, just fucking great.” Naveen muttered under his breath. How did these people get so huge? Were they just too lazy to exercise and too dumb to pay attention to their diet?
Naveen rang the bell for the air-hostess. The fat lady snored loudly in her sleep. He shook his head. Five minutes passed and still no sign of the air-hostess. He pushed the bell again. He craned his neck and saw the air-hostess approaching in her blue uniform with the tight skirt. She didn’t have the legs to pull off that skirt.
“Yes, sir?” She smiled at him. It was a fake smile.
“Can I get an orange juice?” Naveen demanded.
“Sure.” She nodded. “I’ll be back.”
Five minutes later, she still hadn’t returned. Naveen gritted his teeth.
Finally, she re-appeared. “Here’s your orange juice, sir.”
“What took you so long?” Naveen grabbed the glass. “The service on this flight is slow.”
“I’m very sorry, sir. We have a full flight. I had lots of passenger requests.” She smiled.
Naveen waved her off. He checked his watch. Still four hours to go. How was he going to get through this agonizing flight?
An hour before landing, Naveen twisted about, cranky as ever. The captain warned them of turbulence ahead. Naveen gripped the side of his seat. The plane swayed as it passed through the air pocket. He felt his body bumped off the seat for a moment.
What a disaster this flight had been. They didn’t even get the aircraft to fly smoothly. Maybe this was a sign of things to come. Maybe his new job would be full of turbulence and turmoil. Maybe his new colleagues would be dumb or non-responsive like the air-hostess. Maybe the whole thing was a mistake.
****
Story 2:
Naveen shifted in his aisle seat. His stretched his legs out as far as he could and made himself comfortable. He felt lucky to have gotten the aisle seat.
He glanced to his left. The lady next to him suffered from obesity. It had become an epidemic in America. He knew she was fighting a tough battle. He silently wished her luck.
He rang the bell for the air-hostess. The lady next to him snored loudly in her sleep. Naveen smiled. At least she managed to sleep so peacefully. Good for her.
Five minutes later, the air-hostess appeared in her blue uniform. She managed to look dignified in her skirt.
“Yes, sir?” She smiled at him. Naveen marveled at her ability to always be so cheerful.
“Can I get an orange juice, please?” He asked.
“Sure.” She nodded. “I’ll be back.”
She re-appeared, a little over five minutes later. “Here’s your orange juice, sir.”
Naveen gave her a big smile. “Thank you.” She was doing a good job, despite having to rush back and forth to respond to the demands of a full flight of passengers.
He checked his watch. Four hours to go. That would be enough time to catch up on a couple of movies he had missed. He relaxed and leaned back.
An hour before landing, the captain warned them of turbulence ahead. Naveen grinned in anticipation. The plane swayed as it passed through the air pocket. He felt his body bumped off the seat for a moment. This was like a bonus roller-coaster ride, no extra charge.
What a fun flight it had been. Maybe this was a sign of things to come. Maybe his new job would be challenging and exciting. Maybe his new colleagues would be friendly like the air-hostess and fun to work with. Maybe he was about to start an amazing phase of life.
****
I’m sure you have observed that exactly the same events happen in both the stories. Yet, the two stories sound so different.
It’s not the situation that matters; it’s our reaction to it. Our perception creates our reality. To alter this reality, we must simply change our perception.
In the first story, the annoyance, anger and apprehension that Naveen felt were real. In the second story, the empathy, wonder and excitement that Naveen felt were just as real. Even though the circumstances were the same, they could be experienced in different ways. All Naveen did was change the story he told himself, and he experienced an alternate reality.
In our daily lives, we constantly react to events. Whether we are aware of this or not, we tell ourselves stories about the situation around us.
Consider the following examples of stories we tell ourselves.
We miss the train to work. We tell ourselves “Damn it. Why can’t the train be delayed the one time I want it to be? Otherwise, it’s delayed so often. Now, I’ll be late for the meeting. Waiting at this platform is such a waste of time.”
The boss at work always gives us the difficult projects. We tell ourselves “My boss deliberately gives me all the hard assignments. He doesn’t even come around to see how I’m doing, like he does with the others. He doesn’t give a damn about me. He just uses me for all the dirty work.”
Our good friend doesn’t respond to our phone call. We tell ourselves “He is always too busy to pick up my calls. Just because he earns more money, he thinks that he is better than me. What an arrogant prick.”
Now, let’s change these stories we tell ourselves, keeping the situations the same.
We miss the train to work. We tell ourselves “Now that the crowd has gone in this train, the next one might be half vacant. I’ll probably get a place to sit. I have ten extra minutes to read my email and plan what I’m going to talk about in the meeting.”
The boss at work always gives us the difficult projects. We tell ourselves “The most challenging work normally goes to the most competent person. My boss thinks I’m capable of handling the tough projects. In fact, he trusts me so much that he doesn’t need to check up on me like he does with the others. I’m lucky to have earned his respect and trust.”
Our good friend doesn’t respond to our phone call. We tell ourselves “He has been working very hard. He will surely get promoted next month. I’ll be so happy for him. Then, our group of friends can get together and celebrate. It will be so much fun. I wish him good luck.”
If you find yourself reacting negatively to any situation, remember that the reality you are experiencing is only one of the possible realities. To change your experience, change the story you tell yourself.
