Harshini Weds Sujat

Naveen lay on the couch in front of the television, his eyes half-closed. The irritating sound of a phone ringing emanated from somewhere.

He yawned and stretched his legs across the length of the couch, trying to ignore the sound. But the ringing continued. He lifted his head to find that his cell phone was the source of the annoyance. Just to stop the sound, he picked it up. “Hello.”

“Let’s leave.” It was his childhood friend, Prakash. Today was the day that Sumeet’s wedding events were set to begin. First, the sangeet tonight, the song-and-dance event, then the cocktail party tomorrow and finally, the wedding and reception on the third day. The normal Indian wedding extravaganza.

“Let’s leave, dude.” Prakash repeated, getting no response for a few seconds.

“Leave? For where?”

“For the sangeet, where else? Are you high? You know that today's the sangeet, right?”

“Yea, yea, I know.” Naveen checked the time. “But it’s only 4:30. The event starts at 7. That too, the official invite says 7, which means it’ll start at 8, at the earliest.”

“Dude, we’ve been late too many times. You know it’ll take hours in Mumbai traffic. Let’s just leave.”

“You’re crazy. I’m taking a nap. Will call later...” Naveen began to move the phone away.

“Dude.” Prakash yelled. “Don’t do it.”

Naveen brought the phone back. “I’m sleepy man.”

“If you sleep now, you won’t wake up in time. I know you. Sumeet also messaged me saying he wants us to get there early.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know, there’s probably some work to do. It’s your best friend’s wedding, and you want to take a nap? What’s wrong with you, man?”

“Don’t get all senti on me again…“

“C’mon dude, don’t take a nap. Just get dressed quickly, and get over here. He really wants us to get there early. It’s his big day and all, we got to help.”

Naveen stayed silent for a moment. “Fine,” he grunted.

“Cool, I have the car and driver, so just get here quick.”

“Fine.”

Naveen took a quick shower, and changed into his wedding kurta, which had been freshly ironed that morning. Maroon colored, with subtle gold embroidery at the edges, and an elegant pattern in the front, that kurta had seen plenty of weddings in its time. Naveen examined his appearance in the mirror. The kurta suited his six foot tall, lanky frame quite well.

He reached Prakash’s place, where he walked in to see his friend lying back, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, his hair disheveled.

Prakash grinned. “Wassup, you made it...”

Naveen glared at him. “What the hell are you doing? You’re nowhere close to ready…”

“Yea.”

“I thought we had to reach early. I thought Sumeet messaged you about some work.”

“Yea, I lied about that.”

“What the fuc…”

“Dude, I was just bored.”

“You were bored.” Naveen repeated.

“In my defense, I never thought you would actually come so soon…”

Naveen started to roll up one sleeve of his kurta, slowly, with menace. “I was exhausted, about to take a nap. You give me fictional stories and emotional pressure. I gave up my nap, took a shower, got dressed…and you’re sitting here like a….” He had rolled up both his sleeves now.

He advanced towards Prakash. 

Prakash raised both his palms in the air. “Chill dude, chill.” He went over to a cabinet at the corner of the room, took out two stout, round glasses. He put several cubes of ice in each of them, brought out a bottle, and poured it into both the glasses. He offered one of them to Naveen.

Naveen looked at it. “You think whiskey is going to stop me from kicking your ass?”

“It’s scotch man, single malt.”

Naveen stared at the glass for a moment.

“Stop whining and drink up.” Prakash said.

Naveen took the glass. “Fine. But this is not over. I’ll get you back for this.”

“Yea, I’m sure you will…”

A few drinks, and a long car ride in Mumbai’s bumper-to-bumper traffic later, they reached Hotel Sea Princess, where the event was to be held.

            

            It was a sprawling five-star hotel, built along the coast in the suburb of Juhu, a few kilometers away from the airport. There were lush, outdoor lawns right by the sea, true to its name. Apart from guest suites, a variety of restaurants and bars, the hotel also had several party rooms and banquet halls.

            

            There were more than a couple of events being held at Hotel Sea Princess that night. Naveen and Prakash navigated their way to the hall on the third floor, where Sumeet’s sangeet event was supposed to be.

            

            It was about 6:45pm when they arrived. Prakash had gotten dressed quickly, and had actually insisted on getting there early in the end. Naveen agreed, since he had already been ready to go. Moreover, they were out of scotch.

            “There’s no one here.” Naveen spread out his arms.

            The event hall was in fact nearly empty, apart from a few of the hotel staff sweeping the floors, and arranging some tables and chairs.

            “What an astute observation, my boy.” Prakash said.

            “Dude, why are we here so early? I’ve never reached so early in my life for a wedding, or any event for that matter. No one from the host group is even here. What are we doing here??” Naveen demanded.

            “Chill out, man. We’re already here now.”

            “Yea, but we could have relaxed at home. I could have taken my nap…”

            “Oh, you and your nap...”

            “This feels stupid. They’re still cleaning the place. Should we also start sweeping now?”

            “As a wise man once said, Stop whining and drink up.” Prakash grinned. “Let’s find a bar.”

            “Alcohol is not the answer to everything.”

            “No, single malt scotch is the right answer. Let’s go.”

            A couple of rounds of scotch at the hotel bar, and they were both starting to feel it a little. They decided to get some fresh air and take a walk around the hotel.

            They strolled outside the lawns. The entrance of the main hotel lawn was decorated with dazzling lights and an ornamental, semi-circular arc of flowers. A large sign read ‘Harshini Weds Sujat’.

            Wedding guests drifted in and out of the lawn, dressed mostly in kurtas, saris and other formal Indian attire. Naveen peered inside. He saw waiters moving around with trays of bite-sized appetizers. Samosas, pakoras, chicken kebabs, schezwan paneer, and so much more.

            “I’m kinda hungry.” Naveen mumbled.

            “Yea, me too.” Prakash nodded, following Naveen’s gaze at the waiters with the trays. “That food looks fantastic.”

            “It does, doesn’t it?”

            “I got to get me some of that.” Prakash declared. He stumbled forward towards the entrance.

            Naveen grabbed his shoulder. “Where do you think you’re going?”

            “You know, to offer my good wishes to…” Prakash glanced up. “…the beautiful bride Harshini and the lucky groom Sujat.”

            “…and eat...” He grinned.

            “Dude, we can’t just enter any random wedding.”

            “Why not? Look at us.” Prakash pointed at his kurta. “We’re definitely dressed for it.”

            “...and don’t you remember Sujat, man? He was there in our tuition classes back in first year engineering right? Mechanics classes or something?”

            “Are you high?”

            “I’m probably not low.” Prakash replied. “But what I surely am is hungry.”

            “Look at the place, man.” He pointed inside. “There must be hundreds of people in there. Who’s going to notice?”

            Naveen looked inside. His eyes drifted again to the waiters with the trays.

“We’re doing this, dude. “ Prakash grabbed Naveen’s shoulder and dragged him forward. They stepped inside the entrance and into the main lawn. They moved a bit away from the crowd, and surveyed the scene.

            Over to the left, was the main wedding buffet, with an expansive spread of dishes arranged by different courses from starters to desserts.

On the right, there was a raised platform or mandap, where the to-be-married couple was seated, along with immediate family. A pandit was reciting mantras next to a ceremonial fire in the middle of the mandap, and performing the rituals of a Hindu wedding.

            Wedding guests were spread out across the vast lawn, some seated on chairs, some walking around and socializing.

            Prakash homed in on one of the waiters serving appetizers. He grabbed a napkin, and dug into scrumptious chicken tikka kebabs, cut into neat bite-sized pieces, served with a tooth-pick. Naveen followed suit.

            “Good stuff.” Prakash said. “Doesn’t food taste better after scotch?”

            “Yea, it’s amazing.” Naveen admitted.

            “I told you single malt scotch is the answer to everything.”

            Naveen glanced around at the wedding guests. “What if someone comes and starts talking to us? Who will we say we are? Are we from the bride’s side or the groom’s? Are we friends or relatives? What’s our story?”

            “We don’t need a story, dude. We’ll just do some ‘namaste-uncle’ and it’s all good. Follow my lead.”

            Prakash ventured forward in the direction of an elderly couple few feet away from them.

            Naveen’s eyes widened. “Wait….”

            But Prakash was on his way. He approached the couple and gave them a smile. He greeted them with the traditional Indian greeting. “Namaste, Uncle. Namaste, Aunty.”

            “Hello, beta.” The old uncle smiled. “How are you?”

            “I’m fine, uncle. How are you?”

            “Very good, very good. How’s the food, beta? I hope you’re eating properly.” Uncle gestured towards the waiters. Then, a small group of people nearby, called out to him. “Manoj Uncle, come and meet my nephew and niece. They’ve come from New York.”

            The uncle’s attention shifted. He nodded towards Prakash. “Enjoy yourself, beta”

            “I will.” Prakash said, turning to Naveen, who stood behind him, frozen like a statue. “See dude, that’s how it’s done. Half the people here don’t know half the other people.”

           Prakash slapped his friend on the back. “Let’s hit the buffet.”

            They moved towards the buffet side of the lawn. However, they found that no one else was around there. In fact, large sections of buffet hadn’t opened up yet. They figured it would be in full flow during the reception later.

            So, they focused on the appetizers. Prakash was zeroing in on those waiters like a moth to a flame. Naveen went in a different direction, in a divide-and-conquer strategy to maximize their loot. Between the two of them, they managed to score all the appetizers from the samosas to kebabs to paneer rolls to sev puri.

            Naveen put a hand to his stomach. “This is amazing stuff.”

            “Dude, you said it. Great food. God bless Harshini and Sujat. They’ll have a happy married life.”

            Naveen laughed. “Yea.”

            “Seriously, the quality of a wedding is directly proportional to the quality of the food served. Especially, the appetizers.”

            “Okay, now you’re definitely high.”

            Naveen punched his friend in the arm. “But, I’m glad you made me do this. This was fun.”

            Prakash grinned. “This was probably the coolest thing you’ve done…”

            “Dude, everyone’s leaving.” Naveen interrupted. He noticed that the mandap rituals seemed to have been completed, and the main wedding party was making its way to the exit. The rest of the guests were also following them towards the hotel building.

            “Yea, time to get out of here.” Prakash said. He led them towards the entrance from where they had come in, away from the rest of the wedding party.

            “This was fantastic.” Naveen mumbled as they walked. “Namaste Uncle.” he called out to random wedding guests passing by.

            Prakash pulled him forward. “Forget it, man. It’s over.”

            Naveen laughed. “I liked the ‘namaste-uncle’ tactic.”

            Prakash joined in the laughter. “It was obvious. But if you really want to listen to my genius, then I’m telling you that single malt scotch is the answer to…”

            “Yea, yea, I know…”

            They were at the entrance of the hotel, when someone called to them from behind. “Naveen. Prakash. You are guys are here early.”

            They turned to see Esha, Sumeet’s fiancé, dressed like the bride that she was that night. Behind her, scores of friends, relatives and others poured into the hotel, as their event was getting started.

            “Hi, Esha.” Prakash smiled. “Yea, umm, we just got here.” He nudged Naveen next to him. “We have a wedding event to attend.”

            Naveen looked at him, perplexed. “Again?”

            “Dude, we’ve come here for Sumeet and Esha’s sangeet…”

            “Oh yea…”

            Esha shifted her gaze from Naveen to Prakash, and then back to Naveen. “Are you guys high?”

            Naveen and Prakash looked at each other. They got the distinct sense that this was not the first time that night that either of them was being asked that question.

            “No.” They both replied in unison.

            “Uh-huh.” Esha said. Somebody called out to her, and she continued into the hotel. “I’ll see you’ll inside.”

            Naveen and Prakash stood at the front entrance for a moment longer.

            “No more scotch tonight.” Prakash proclaimed.

            “Really??” Naveen looked at him in amazement. “Dude, I thought you said…”

            “Yea, yea, I know…"